Grandma’s Walnut Cream Torte, Happy Birthday Mom, I Miss You

Time doesn’t heal, that’s not the right word. Time just helps me learn how to live without my mother. When we came back from Israel in January 2024, after shiva ended, Corinne, sister of Patrick Roger, sent me quality, comforting chocolate and a card with a few words for me. “Our mothers taught us everything, except how to live without them,” she wrote, signing off with a warm hug. How universal this pain is, the pain of losing a mother.

Today is my mom’s birthday. Without my mom. Every year I used to wake up on the morning of your birthday and post the same text, so the whole world would know you. Our whole community knew you, and the comments never took long to arrive.

Afterward I’d wait for the flowers at “Shoshana Shai,” above Carmel Hospital, to open for the day, and I’d call the kind man at the shop to send you a bouquet just the way you liked it. Then you’d update us that the bouquet arrived, and I’d ask you to send me a photo, so I’d know you got exactly what I asked for. Of course you’d take a crooked, slightly blurry photo, but you’d tell us the bouquet was so beautiful, and you’d put it in the vase I once bought you at Ani’s perfume shop.

By then, comments had already piled up under the post I’d shared that morning, and I’m sure you sat at home, or in the neighborhood “parliament,” puffed up like a peacock, moved by the warm words, the gentle comments, and the recognition you received when I told everyone how meaningful you were, and still are, to me.

I want you to know that all our tour guests and followers know you. When people ask me how my mom reacted when I left the my job? How she reacted when I decided to move to Paris? How she reacted when I told her about Mamush? The answers to all these questions always move everyone.

You gave me the chance to fly wherever my wings would take me, no conditions, with real support, the kind that comes from the heart and gives a strength that can’t be put into words. I know this isn’t something to take for granted, and I know how lucky I was.

Even though you’re not here, this year I decided to make you Grandma Miriam’s birthday cake, your mother’s cake: an incredible cocoa torte with walnut cream! We used to wait for this cake every birthday. It was Grandma’s flagship cake, and as such, there’s simply none better.

This recipe is a sweet, comforting childhood memory, passed down through the generations in my Austro-Hungarian-Romanian family. I chose to make the cake as one big, generous slice with a few layers, tall and abundant, so there’d be plenty for my mom. But the recipe, of course, is meant for a whole cake made of two layers, with walnut cream spread between them and the same cream coating the outside. If you want the cake on the taller side, I recommend baking it in a 22 cm pan with high sides; if you’d like it lower, bake it in a 24 cm pan.

Happy birthday, Imush. May you give me, give us, many more wings, even if only in my imagination. We love you, from Paris to wherever you are now. Yours, the Mamush girls.

Grandma’s Walnut Cream Torte
22 cm or 24 cm round cake pan

Ingredients
Cocoa Torte:
160g egg yolks (about 8 medium eggs)
80g sugar
20g cocoa powder
3g instant coffee powder (1 tsp)
60g all-purpose flour
3g baking powder (½ tsp)
300g egg whites (about 8 medium eggs) + 10g sugar (1 tbsp)
14g sunflower or canola oil (1 tbsp)

Walnut Cream:
125g whole milk
150g sugar
160g roasted, ground walnuts
10g rum
200g butter, cut into cubes

Coffee Syrup:
6g instant coffee powder (2 tsp)
25g sugar
220g boiling water
5g rum

Preparation
1. Cocoa Torte: Preheat the oven to 170°C (340°F). Grease your pan of choice and line the bottom with parchment paper.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together the egg yolks, sugar, cocoa, and coffee.
3. In a mixer bowl, whip the egg whites with the tablespoon of sugar until you get a stable, glossy foam.
4. Fold a little of the whipped egg whites into the yolk mixture to lighten it, then gently fold in the rest of the egg whites until the batter is uniform and airy.
5. Mix the flour with the baking powder and fold it gradually into the batter.
6. Add the oil and fold until the batter is uniform.
7. Pour the batter into the pan and bake for about 25 to 30 minutes, until the cake is set and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with a few dry crumbs. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool.
8. Walnut Cream: In a small pot, bring the milk and sugar to a boil until the sugar fully dissolves.
9. Add the ground walnuts and mix, then bring back to a boil.
10. Remove from heat, add the rum, and mix.
11. Once the cream has cooled slightly (warm but not hot), add the butter and mix vigorously until fully melted in. Refrigerate for two hours.
12. Coffee Syrup: In a large cup, combine the coffee and sugar, pour the boiling water over them, and mix until the coffee fully dissolves. Add the rum, mix, and move on to assembly.

Assembly
13. Remove the cake from the pan and flip it over, so the top of the cake becomes the base, giving you a smooth, even surface.
14. Slice the cake into two thinner round layers. Set the top layer aside, and place the bottom layer on a serving plate.
15. Soak the base layer with half the coffee syrup and wait for it to fully absorb.
16. Pour almost half the walnut cream over the base and smooth it out with an offset spatula.
17. Place the top layer over the walnut cream, soak it with the remaining syrup, and wait for it to fully absorb.
18. Coat the entire cake with the remaining walnut cream, and decorate with roasted walnuts if you like.
19. Keep it in the fridge, and dig in!

Bon-Appétit
Sharon